Ahem...

Yes, sorry. I've been MIA from here for a very long time. That's because I spend most of my time over at my other blog:

www.katesterling.blogspot.com

Sorry about that...

Snick...

Ok, call me juvenile, but this headline gave me the giggles:

Cop makes arrest in bathroom after smelling crack

heh.

Travel Trouble

Heh.

Well, I figure by now you've all given up on me. Heck, I've pretty much given up on me too. :)

Saw this the other day, though, and thought it was funny. Figured I'd share, since I have no words of wisdom to impart at the moment.

Camp Fire Ghouls

*Warning* The author of this post is still coming off a Girl Scout Cookie binge and her brain is clouded with sugar. There will likely be no enlightening, entertaining or otherwise worthwhile material in this post. If you keep reading, you do so at your own risk.

That said, I figured since my last blog was in February, I ought to at least put up something. It's embarrassing. In self-defense, however, I have been extremely busy with working two, three and sometimes four jobs, running back & forth to the doctor's office, and trying to keep my juvenile delinquent out of jail. That's a full-time in itself. Most days, I'm too tired to breathe, much less write.

Anyway, in the interest of at least something book related, I read Karen Miller's EMPRESS last weekend. Jury's still out. The main character was not particularly likable through most of the book--in fact, I even began to despise her--yet I kept reading. I felt the author too often went with the cheap emotional shocks, yet I kept reading. I was annoyed by much of the language, yet I kept reading. Most likely, I will even read the sequels, because I still want to see what happens. How's that for a rousing review? Lol

Apart from the aforementioned drawbacks, I still found the overall story interesting, the pacing on target, and the secondary characters very well drawn.

From the back cover:
"In a family torn apart by poverty and violence, Hekat is no more than an unwanted mouth to feed, worth only a few coins from a passing trader. But Hekat is not born to be a slave. For her, a different path has been chosen. It is a path that will take her from stinking back alleys to the house of her god, from blood-drenched battlefields to the glittering palaces of Mijak."

I think I'll try Ms. Miller's MAGE books and see if I like them better. Have any of you read those? I'd be interested in your opinion. Also, your opinion of EMPRESS if you've read that too. Or heck, just make some recommendations - what's the last thing you read that you really enjoyed? I'm re-reading Christopher Moore's LAMB, because it's one of my favorites.

What's in a Name?

Ever since I read Cliff's blog about a story he wrote using a pseudonym he refuses to reveal (the tease), I started thinking about my own nomme de plume. Like Clifford, I've considered branching out into new territory, but would need a new name to go there. (Also like Cliff, said territory will remain unnamed, but let your own imaginations take you where you will.)

I was pondering this dilemma while checking my email when by the grace of God and Spam, two beauties fell right into my inbox: Ernestina Whoppingpenis and Clyde Thunderstick.

Now if only I could decide between the two...

On a more serious note, his idea of a complete, edited and submitted short story per month was a pretty good one. Ambitious, but not impossible. Go, Cliff! :)

Anybody else have writing goals for this year that they'd like to share?

Happy Anniversary

I just noticed that I started this blog in January of last year, so it's now been a year since I "met" Sid, Charles, Stewart, Avery, the Susans, Lana, Jon, Steve, Candice, Sphinx, Wayne, Travis, Donkey, SQT, Ivan, Lucas, Christina, Lindy, Clifford, JR, Etain and the rest.

Time sure does fly when you're having fun. Thanks for hanging out with me. I feel privileged to know you.

And somehow I ended up with a dog...

I'm embarrassed that it's been over a month since my last post, but sometimes life has a way of interfering with fun.

The past couple of months have just been insane with work, transportation and health woes, kid troubles, etc. I started a new job that has been kicking my butt -- going to work before daylight and coming home after dark, with barely enough time to eat, shower, lay out my clothes for the next and start the process all over again. I've been averaging about 3-4 hrs sleep a night, so I'm pretty tired when I get home and not much into posting. I have been reading your blogs, though, just haven't had much energy for commenting.

Anyhoodles, in the midst of all this, my daughter came home one day announcing that we now have a new addition to the family: Kali--a 13-yr old, asthmatic, arthritic Shih Tzu with about four crooked teeth.

How could I turn her away? We're soul mates.

Pithy

SphinxInk said we'd come up with pithy posts at the same time, but I'm afraid she'll just have to go on without me. :)

I felt guilty for being MIA for so long, so I thought I'd drop in to share these few bits of wisdom.

This one would have been better a couple of days ago, but you can retain the wisdom for next year. I, for one, am grateful for instruction on the proper use of jazz hands:

http://www.basicinstructions.net/2007/10/how-to-deal-with-trick-or-treaters.html

And for those of you still partnered, here is some valuable advice on how to apply the laws of physics to your relationship.

http://www.basicinstructions.net/2007/10/how-to-apply-laws-of-physics-to.html

Moving On

I just couldn't let this sit here any longer with nothing but a sorry picture of my desktop on it. I have nothing profound to say, just needed to move beyond the meme.

If you're wondering what I've been up to lately, you can check out my other blog. I just finished updating that one too. Stewart, I'm sorry to say that I haven't written you a vampire story, but I have an excuse. Really, I do. It's um, it's uh... the cat ate my mouse. Yeah, that was it. And by the way, where are the links you promised us? I haven't seen your entry yet.

As for the rest of you, I've been lurking about, reading your blogs. Just haven't had much time lately and blogger doesn't always let me comment. Keep up the good work, folks.

Tagged again...

Well, Steve Malley tagged me to show my desktop (he already showed me his, so I guess that's fair.) Fortunately, I only have to post a pic of the computer desktop and not my actual desk. :)

I'm afraid it's pretty boring right now. I used to have a nice spreadeagle photo of Alan Rickman on it, but my daughter complained since she has to use this computer too. Honestly, now. Some people.

So, without further ado, here it is. I wish it were cool like Avery's. I've got desktop envy now.

I Spy Sci-Fi

These items from recent news highlights:

Residents become ill after meteor crashes - http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070918/sc_afp/peruhealthoffbeat

Britain approves creation of hybrid human-animal embryos for research - http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070905/sc_nm/britain_embryo_dc

Don't you see the makings of sci-fi/horror there?

Anyhoodles, just finished a really good book last night. A MANKIND WITCH was fun, but was not on the level of this one. Once more, I accidentally brought home the last book of a series, but since I was desperate, I went ahead and read it. I didn't really need to read first two to understand the third, but I'm going to go pick them today just because I loved this guy's writing style. Here's an example where he describes a hunter's dog from a demon's point of view:

That dog, potential insanity on four legs, can be as calm as a dreamless sleeper until danger drops from the trees and then his placid, near-human smile wrinkles back into a snapping wound machine. The crafty beast learns to lunge for my brethren's unprotected areas--wing membrane, soft belly, groin, or tail. I, myself, witnessed that hound tear of an attacking demon's member, slip through its legs, and then shread a wing to tatters in his escape. He has an uncanny sense of certainty about him in all situations, as if in each he is like a dancer who has practiced that one dance all his days. Wood reads Cley like a book, understands his hand signals and the subtle shifting of his eyes. There is no question he will die for the hunter, and I am convinced he will go beyond death for him--a guardian angel the color of night, muscled and scarred and harder to subdue than a guilty conscience.

Doesn't that just perfectly capture the essence of dogs?

The book? THE BEYOND
The author: Jeffrey Ford

Surfin' Saturday

My original intent to post was to give a hard time to those of you who haven't updated your blogs in a week or so, but then I noticed that my last post was nearly a month ago. (those who live in glass houses...) Hence, I've decided to just give a quick book review.

Just read A MANKIND WITCH by Dave Freer last night. As I read it, I was thinking, hmm... this reminds me of Charles. (Sword fights, fantasy creatures, a bit of romance interwoven into the plot.) :)

I found the book in the Sci-fi section of the library, though I'd hardly call it science fiction - more fantasy/adventure. I didn't even expect to enjoy it--and I'll reveal my bias here--because the cover looked as if it were geared more toward males. Teenage males, in particular. Nevertheless, I liked the title, so I brought it home. (Notice my thoughtful reasoning.)

The book is part of the "Heirs of Alexandria Series" (which I didn't discover until I got it home - also includes collaboration with Mercedes Lackey and Eric Flint) but it can stand alone. In spite of a few anachronisms, a typo and a couple of areas of awkward pacing, I enjoyed it. If you'd like to actually know what it's about, you can go here because I'm too lazy to type all that in. :)

Ok, now that I've updated my blog, what are the rest of you waiting for? Stop selfishly living your real life and understand that there are those of us out here who have no lives, thus must live vicariously through you. Where are you Avery? Susan? Jon? There were a couple of others, but they've posted this past week. Stewart, you're on thin ice. I know it has only been 4 days, but in the Cult of Sternberg, that's like 2 weeks to the rest of the world. Sid's been slacking a bit lately too.

Are You Up/Down with That?

Since some of you don't have subscriptions to the Romance Writers Report, I thought I'd share some gems on self-editing by Jeannie Eddy from this month's issue.

I have to admit, I've been guilty of many of the following.

(some examples mine to save space)

1. A word that you don't need.

See how many unnecessary "that's" are in your work. Could you leave some out?

Example: "It was an annoying habit that she had that signaled to him that she was tired."

"It was an annoying habit she had, signalling she was tired."

2. Are you in, out, over, up or down?

These directional words can often be deleted.

Example: He looked down into her eyes.

He looked into her eyes.

3. Finally, suddenly, you can improve your writing - by deleting finally and suddenly.

Example: Suddenly a boat appeared on the horizon.

A boat appeared on the horizon.

4. I feel you should stop telling me how the characters feel.

Example: Helen felt angry enough to hit John.

Helen's hands balled into fists as she stared at John.

5. It even seems like I have more to tell you.

Example: She didn't even know where to look.

She didn't know where to look.

6. You are almost ready to finish your book.

Read through your manuscript to see how many times you use "almost." Do you say "He was almost afraid to say something?"

Was he or wasn't he? You and your reader should know for sure.

Who Are You?

Yeah, so I have nothing better to do with my time. According to the "Are you a a Nerd, Geek or Dork?" test I got from Steve (I'm a big-time dork, but we already knew that) and this test, "What Book are You?", from Natasha, aka Spyscribbler, I've spent a productive evening learning more about myself. ;)

Go ahead, try it. Don't be shy. You know you want to.

You're Ulysses!

by James Joyce

Most people are convinced that you don't make any sense, but compared to what else you could say, what you're saying now makes tons of sense. What people do understand about you is your vulgarity, which has convinced people that you are at once brilliant and repugnant. Meanwhile you are content to wander around aimlessly, taking in the sights and sounds of the city. What you see is vast, almost limitless, and brings you additional fame. When no one is looking, you dream of being a Greek folk hero.

Actually, with the exception of that Greek folk hero thing and the fame bit, I'd have to say this was right on the money.

So.... what book are you?

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Help, please

I know there are some baseball fans out there (Stewart, Jon?) and while I've done some research for a story I'm working on, I can't find the answer to the burning question: do baseball players still wear cups?

I know that kids' baseball requires them, but from what I can gather so far, that may not be true for adult players. Is it only pitchers now? No one? Anyone who wants to, according to preference? Inquiring minds want to know.

I'm mainly concerned with the habits of local, amateur teams--you know, the ones sponsored by Joe's Bar & Grill type teams. It's actually a rather important plot point since the heroine and her best friend decide which team won based on the cups the players are wearing and how well their pants fit. Are the cups and jock straps one size fits all? How does a soft cup differ from a hard cup? I've only seen the hard ones. (No comments, please.)

Ok, any help would be appreciated. Thanks. :)

Top 10 Best Places to Work

You know, you've heard me say it before, I want to start my own company. I want to give those new writers a place to shine, a place to be seen, read and heard. I want to give part of the profits to organizations that help make the world a better place - yes, I want to do all of that.

There's another humanitarian goal that spurs me as well - you see, I want to give people the benefits they really need, as well as support working mothers and single parents in ways that are real and lasting. So, I decided that when I do have my own business (and have it I shall) I will offer not just the usual holiday/sick day package, but also:

5 wellness days

10 sick child days

10 no baby/pet sitter days

15 mental health days

20 bad hair days (aka "call in ugly" days)

24 nothing to wear/no clean clothes/everything needs ironed/even my fat pants don't fit days

These are the things, my friends, that the working mom really needs. I could have called in ugly today.

Potential

You know, I've often wondered what would happen if I really gave my work and life my all - put everything I had into it.

Now I know...


Via: VideoSift

News, Reviews and Whatnot

Well, I'm not going to review the last Harry Potter just yet. Maybe not at all. I'm still in mourning.

However, I also recently read the following:

LAMB, THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO BIFF, CHRIST'S CHILDHOOD PAL by Christopher Moore, which managed to be hysterically funny and poignant at the same time. The story is as the title would suggest, the "untold tale" of Jesus' boyhood narrated by his childhood friend Levi, aka "Biff." Though there were a couple of places I felt dragged a bit, overall, Moore's writing style is so smooth that I was pulled along with the flow of the story and was sorry when it ended. I highly recommend this one as long as your religious sensibilities aren't easily offended. In fact, I think the quote by Voltaire in the beginning of the book is excellent: "God is a comedian playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh." It made me wish the story were true.

ASHES TO ASHES by Jennifer Armintrout. This was the third in her "Blood Ties" series about a doctor turned vampire, and I've liked them all so far. I like that her heroine, Carrie, is not always perfect--she makes some questionable choices at times, but Armintrout sets up the background and characters in such a way that her choices are not only believable, you can sympathize with them even if you think it may not have been the wisest thing. Overall, I recommend the series if you like horror, romance and erotica all in one book. :)

THE UNFORTUNATE MISS FORTUNES by Jennifer Crusie, Eileen Dreyer, and Anne Stuart. I picked this book up about three magical sisters, expecting it to be neatly divided into the three sections by the three different authors, but to my surprise, it was told as one tale. It was a credit to the authors and editors that this book unfolded so seamlessly. Recommended if you like romance, humor and magic.

Now, in the "shameless self-promotion" category, Cimorene at Enchanting Reviews read my story and had this to say:

Unmasked – Kate Sterling

4 Enchantments

When Morgan receives an invitation to the ball on Arcadia Island, she knows the wish she wants granted: to have one more night with the love of her life… without hurting his wife.

The goddess Aphrodite sees fit, however, to throw a stumbling block in Morgan's way. She has to find Derek before midnight, at a masked ball!
Instead, Morgan finds Brianna and Marcos, a married couple whose relationship is on the skids, and Morgan wants to help them spice it up. But when the couple is unmasked the next morning, Morgan has to decide if she's going to run, or live with her new love.

I'm not much into erotica myself, but Ms. Sterling handles it excellently, making this story tastefully spicy. While there seemed to be a bit of a flow issue in the beginning, it quickly straightened out after Morgan and Brianna met.
Ultimately, this is a good read and definitely adds to the character of the book!

....My overall opinion of the book is that it is a fabulous collection of works by some very talented authors. I can't wait to read more of the Masquerade Series, and see what other gods make their debuts.

A must-read for anyone who wonders what the ancient ones might be up to today!

Cimorene
Enchanting Review
=================
When I have the link to the full review, I'll post it.

On my current, ever-growing "to be read" shelf are: "Industrial Magic" - Kelley Armstrong; "Swords of Talera" - Charles Allen Gramlich; "High Seas Cthulhu" - Stewart Sternberg; "Apocalypse Woman" - Tyree Kimber; and "Hellblaze" - Yolanda Sfetsos.

So, what have YOU been reading lately?

Harry, Harry, Harry

As I'm trying to stay awake until midnight so I can go pick up my copy of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows", I thought I'd share this "spoiler" my brother sent. I'm not sure where he got it - sick and funny.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Epilogue

Hermione scurried across the Great Hall at Hogwarts, through the secret door and up the stairs to her luxurious chambers, where she slumped into her favourite chair by the roaring fire.

She shivered, and Maximus slipped out to do whatever it is cats get up to on cold, winter evenings. And thoughts of poor, dead Ron, Ginny, Hagrid, Snape and the final battle filled her scarred mind once again. Every night for how long? Twenty years. That long. All those friends, all of them gone.

The passage of time had not blurred her memories of those extraordinary days. She could hear Harry's dying screams and see the leer on Ron's agonised, twisted face as he forced the stake into his former friend's black, black heart every time she closed her eyes.Poor Ron. His limbs, torso, and finally his sweet, sweet face turned to stone even as he forced the stake home and Hermione cast that final spell that tore the very life and soul from Harry Potter's evil, corrupt body.

Those seven years she had known Potter, fought and played alongside him. Those jolly wheezes escaping from the masters and Filch the caretaker. Those rum adventures as Griffindor won the House Cup. The months of screaming, spine-tearing terror as their young lives led up to that final good-against-evil battle. And it was all for lies.

How Harry had tricked her, used his dark magic to pull the wool over all their eyes. All that time they were running afraid of Voldemort, when the real evil was right in front of her, plotting, scheming, running his hands through her hair and over her pert, young breasts. Taking her. Taking her for everything she had. She swallowed hard at the memory, but the acid taste of her last meal still filled her mouth as she fought the nausea. And still she remembered how she enjoyed him at the time, for the young Potter certainly knew how to use that wand of his. But how the joy turned to despair as fast as he introduced her naked, yielding flesh to the sickening lusts of the Death Eaters. Even that had been fun, in its own way.

Compare that to the sweet, kind Voldemort she now knew. The caring, thoughtful man who had finally shown the dreadful Potter for what he was - the parent-slaying, rank, disgusting, perverted youth, filled with the ancient, evil magic that comes with a life of depravity. Potter was The Boy Who Lived, to be sure. The boy who lived to destroy.

"Mum?" said the figure at the door, "Are you alright?"

"I… I'm fine. I'm just remembering again."

He was a handsome man, now almost twenty years old. Round-rimmed glasses like his father, but caring and thoughtful where Harry had been violent and cold.

"I'm just going out. It's curry night at The Three Broomsticks."

Aye, and no doubt there'll be a stripper, too, and a punch-up on the way home in the early hours. Just like his old dad, then, before those cleansing fires consumed his still twitching body. But she could never have had that abortion, and, as Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher, she knew it would be for the best to keep what remains of that ancient evil nearby, where she could see it. Where she could strike it down should it return.

As Harold left, the door to her bed chamber opened. Tom. Tom Voldemort, her beloved. The one man who kept her sane. Tom Voldemort, headmaster of Hogwarts. He was good, she smiled, remembering wistfully, but he would never be as good as the Weasley twins.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied, a knowing look on her face, "Harold's out for the evening."

"Good. Good. I've cast 'Engorgio' for you."

Hermione smiled. She wouldn't walk for a week.