And somehow I ended up with a dog...

I'm embarrassed that it's been over a month since my last post, but sometimes life has a way of interfering with fun.

The past couple of months have just been insane with work, transportation and health woes, kid troubles, etc. I started a new job that has been kicking my butt -- going to work before daylight and coming home after dark, with barely enough time to eat, shower, lay out my clothes for the next and start the process all over again. I've been averaging about 3-4 hrs sleep a night, so I'm pretty tired when I get home and not much into posting. I have been reading your blogs, though, just haven't had much energy for commenting.

Anyhoodles, in the midst of all this, my daughter came home one day announcing that we now have a new addition to the family: Kali--a 13-yr old, asthmatic, arthritic Shih Tzu with about four crooked teeth.

How could I turn her away? We're soul mates.

Top 10 Best Places to Work

You know, you've heard me say it before, I want to start my own company. I want to give those new writers a place to shine, a place to be seen, read and heard. I want to give part of the profits to organizations that help make the world a better place - yes, I want to do all of that.

There's another humanitarian goal that spurs me as well - you see, I want to give people the benefits they really need, as well as support working mothers and single parents in ways that are real and lasting. So, I decided that when I do have my own business (and have it I shall) I will offer not just the usual holiday/sick day package, but also:

5 wellness days

10 sick child days

10 no baby/pet sitter days

15 mental health days

20 bad hair days (aka "call in ugly" days)

24 nothing to wear/no clean clothes/everything needs ironed/even my fat pants don't fit days

These are the things, my friends, that the working mom really needs. I could have called in ugly today.

For your enjoyment....

I received this from my friend Amber today:

http://foamy.arthemys.net/Foamy/Form_Letter.html

Angry White People

Sometimes you have to laugh at life's appalling absurdities. Like the pictures I shared with a coworker today, for example.

See, I work on our intra- and inter-net sites at work, as well as create many of our publications and online learning modules, so I have to access to numerous photographs and graphics. I recently received a set of pics from someone in multi-media that were taken during a Multi-Cultural Task Force meeting - you know, a group put together to promote peace, harmony and unity, while celebrating diversity in the workplace.

Hmm.... I looked them over, trying to find a good shot... what's this? They all have something in common... our loving, multi-cultural task force is comprised of all caucasions who appear to be in a heated, bitter discussion. This one is glaring at that one, that one has her fingers in this one's face, all are late 40's to early 50's, and nary a color appears other than white, white, white. There was, however, one man. I guess he added diversity to the otherwise all female group.

I had to laugh. It beat crying. Maybe the photographer meant them to be an example of what NOT to do? One can hope. After all, false hope springs eternal...

As for my own angry white face, I got spam this morning from an email designed to look exactly like my own from katesterling.com! Those b@$t@rds! So I apologize in advance to anyone who may receive spam that looks like it came from me.

In fact, any emails from me should be regarded with at least some suspicion through the first week of July. Starting June 1, my computer time will be severely limited - mainly confined to sneaking in at work - as I'll have my computer in storage while I'm temporarily homeless.

After next week, I may move out to San Francisco and borrow a towel from Clifford. :)

Have a great weekend, ya'll.

Rejection

A sucky fact of life - from dating, to job interviewing, to publishing - we all have to deal with rejection at some point or another.

Here's a helpful instructional video to ease the writer's blues. You may want to have pen and paper handy to take notes.

Rejection Letter Response

Block Busters

Instead of working this morning as I was supposed to do, I went blog-hopping. (I figured, hey, the only reason I have to work on a weekend is because no one else did their job on time so that I could do mine, plus, it's only Saturday so I've still got tomorrow, so, well, screw it.)

Anyway, Spyscribbler's blog had a link to this blog about breaking through writer's blocks. Among the comments there were the usual prats who said they never had it, but there was also some useful advice, and this bit:

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"CREATIVITY" by Martha Graham

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one you in all time, this expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist through any medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is; it is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your worth. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time; there is only a strange, divine dissatisfaction; a blessed unrest that keeps us marking and makes us more alive than the others.

--------------------------

Over the past year, I've come in contact with several writers--some in real life, some on the Internet--and most of us seem to suffer the same insecurities and doubts. Some of us wonder if we're wasting our time, if we're any good, even if we should even be writing at all; others believe in their writing but not their ability to market it. Some want to share their stories with everyone; others don't want to share at all. Others, like myself, tend to drift in and out of those all those feelings and more.

Today, I read a short post on a blog that left me in awe of this man's ability to write: Jon Zech. I immediately looked to see if he had books published, but from what I could surmise, he tends to fall into the "only share once in a while" category. That made me sad. I'd like for the world to see his work. I want to publish him. Him, and so many others.

We all have our unique perspectives, our stories to tell. Let's not keep them to ourselves, even if we do think they're less than perfect. I'm glad I finally managed to write some more last night, even it was only 700 words. It's about time.

In an Odd Space

Discombobulated, waiting for the meds to kick in. Cold hands on the keyboard, eyes throbbing with the beginning of a migraine. Wants to write, but can't think.

Must be the disappearance of Wayne.

I want to write something different, something to match my bizarre mood, yet I'm afraid it will be impossible. I think it has something to do with the space-time continuum shifts as Wayne and Stewart face off in the multiverse. Ice storms, electrical malfunctions and extreme lack of focus are the fallout in our world.

Response to Susan

Susan's post to my earlier blog deserves its own blog response.

Let's start with the first statement.

The last man that I had an intimate relationship with told me that I would never find anyone to treat me better. Oh please, I said, you're under the impression that I need someone, and I don't. He seemed puzzled.

Oh, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that, there'd be people crawling out the woodwork claiming to be my baby's daddy. It's as bad as its fraternal twin: "If I can't make it with you, I can't make it with anyone." And not too far removed from its cousin, "If you loved me, you would."

Let's break this down, shall we? (But before I do, let me state that I have nothing but respect for the men who regularly read and comment on this blog--I doubt any of them have used these lines. At least, not since leaving puberty. *g*)

(Cue Lou Rawls) "You'll never find..."

Ahem. And why not? Guys, you may think you're showcasing just how deep your love is, but think about what that statement actually means. Why wouldn't we be able to find someone else to love us deeply? If we inspire such grand passion, are we not capable of inspiring it in someone else? Or are we not truly that lovable and we'd better grab onto you now because we won't get another chance? Is this a threat? That'll have us swooning. Please, talk to your sons about this.


Next, on a more personal note:

The only problem that I have found is sex. I don't want to have random sex and don't feel like I'm wired for that. Yeah, yeah...toys, I know, but it's not the same and all women know it. Do you think this is why you write about it? And isn't that some type of torture?

I can relate to that, Susan. I'm not wired for it either, though I wish I were. I did give it a try, thought I might be able to work out a win-win solution, but found I just couldn't do it. Hence, I had to give it up.

However, as time goes by (guys, you might want to close your eyes here, or go check out Ms Dewey because this is gonna be some serious gal talk) :)

I've noticed that there is a correlation between the times I feel the most sexual and ovulation. That makes it easier to deal with - I see it as any other natural bodily response (such as hunger or thirst) and just as it would be foolish to eat a dozen donuts because I have an appetite for them--since they'd make me sick and do all sorts of damage--I also know I shouldn't go out and have sex just because I have an appetite for that.

While it's true that solo sex can't replace the physical warmth of another human being, noticing the body's ebbs and flows somehow makes it easier for me to deal with the lack. I simply observe what's happening the same as I would notice when I'm hungry and need to make healthy choices to calm the stomach rumbling. (Your mileage may vary - and I'm still working on making the healthy food choices. Getting control of one appetite at a time...and let's not even go there re: substituting food for sex.) The biggest difference of course, is that you won't die without sex. You might feel like you're going to, but you won't. :)

Actually, I will address sublimation because you asked if I write about sex to fill the lack of it in my real life, and asked if that's torture.

Answers: possibly, and not really.

It is an outlet, though quite frankly, the fact that I'm having a tough time remembering how it's done because it's been so long makes me feel unqualified to write on the subject. :)

Seriously, though, I have considered giving up trying to write romance and erotica because I am so far removed from it now. On the other hand, I love writing fantasy and the fact that I'll probably never pet a dragon or capture a fairy wouldn't stop me from writing about it. And that's not even an accurate comparison because I have had exciting relationships in the past, so I can draw on that experience when I write.

Now, if at some point in the distant future I decide I want to share my life with someone, it want it to be just that: A decision to share. I would want the decision to based good reasons and not because I was lonely, horny or seeking security. And certainly not because I'd been threatened with never finding another. :)

Taking a Break

After a long week (I was trying to cut back my hours and somehow ended up working more), I've decided to go on a short break from blogs for a while. The dust-bunnies around here are biting my ankles, I still have boxes to unpack that arrived last month (oh, the shame), my day job is killing me and my daughter is sick. Time to get my butt away from the computer and pay attention to real life.
Darn it.
Maybe I'll start percolating ideas again if I'm lucky.
So, I'll see you all around in a week or so. Until then--GO BEARS, and have a great week everyone. I'll miss you. :)

Just 'cause I'm tired and grouchy and it's been a long week...

If I read on one more braggart's blog that he/she has never suffered from writer's block, I'm going to hunt 'em down and slap 'em.

Yeah, I said it. And I ain't askeered o' you.