I must be the luckiest woman alive. Why, just today, I received an email notice that I won an international lottery, and all I have to do is provide them with my bank account information so they can transfer millions into my account! Then, just as I wondering how I'd spend all that money, I got two emails from political prisoners in Africa and Iraq needing immediate transfers of funds! The universe does provide, folks. I'm a millionaire and a philanthropist in one fell swoop.
But wait, there's more!
Right after that, I got another blessing. Susan and I had just agreed yesterday that toys aren't the same as real men; but now, thanks to the wonders of email marketing, I can enlarge my penis! This day just keeps getting better.
Now, if I can just get a powerful televangelist on the phone to stop the snowstorm headed our way, I'll truly lack for nothing. I expect a woman of my vast wealth should have no problem getting through.
How's your day going?